


Let’s go paint the town (on our way home)

by kaorupecs



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Caregiving, Character Study, Cooking, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27367135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaorupecs/pseuds/kaorupecs
Summary: Over a decade later, and Rei thinks about how terrifying it must be, to witness a completely perfect child. To know he had never experienced a temper tantrum or a meltdown in his adolescence, when others were feeling so freely.At nineteen, he was just making up for lost time.
Relationships: Hakaze Kaoru/Sakuma Rei
Comments: 13
Kudos: 55
Collections: Reikao Week 2020!





	Let’s go paint the town (on our way home)

**Author's Note:**

> for rkweek day three - prompt: whiney

Despite months of this new routine, Rei never got used to working during the day. He’s been at it for months, waking at an average time, working through what should be his lazy mornings and midafternoon naps, practicing in the evening, and pushing away the surge of energy that, without fail, overtook him at nightfall in order to maintain his rigid sleeping schedule.

Being a human was hard, especially when one was predispositioned to be the opposite. Years of pouring every ounce of himself into educating, consoling, and performing for others had taken its toll on Rei. That was evident enough, but despite this his workload hadn’t lessened any. 

Pouring over thick, dusty novels in the family library during his elementary age turned into taking full responsibility of and filing not only UNDEAD’s financial requests, but his own personal expenses and taxes as well. 

Traversing through graveyards and offering advice to any grieving adult he saw as a preteen became staying up late recording live questions for this week’s radio show. 

Ritsu was grown now, but the spot he had occupied in Rei’s early teens was easily filled by many. His presence allowed Hinata to finally let go of all his pain and anxieties, he’d spent many nights with the elder twin held tightly in his arms, the decision made both to ground the boy and to stop the frantic shaking that came with his deep, heavy set sobs. Yuuta’s natural reservation reminded Rei so much of Ritsu in middle school, that he had to actively dedicate his mind to not calling the boy by the wrong name when Rei asked enthusiastic questions about his day. He loved and doted on Aira like he was his own child, but oftentimes Rei had to avoid looking him in the eyes. The wide eyed, starstruck expression Aira often had on when he was interacting with Rei reminded him too much of another. He can still remember helping Ritsu knot his ruby red tie, before haphazardly throwing on his own cobalt blue one. Before the decade of trust that had been built between them was shattered in what felt like seconds, the deadset determination to follow in Rei’s footsteps had been shared between Ritsu and Aira.

Being able to perform hours on end, to wildly jump around without reason, abandoning any and all pre-decided choreography on a whim...well. 

Now whenever Rei tries to emulate the hip thrusts he had been able to do with ease during Death Game Holic, he swears he pulls a muscle. Despite this, he carries on unit practice all the same, helping Koga with his posture, Adonis with his expressions, and telling Kaoru for what feels like the umpteenth time that he needs to stop staring at him and start dancing. Afterwards he resides to his quarters, dedicates what _should_ be his time to unwind to writing letters for their fancafe, or composing short melodies for new songs, pairing them with the scraps of lyrics he’s found the time to write during the day.

Needless to say, Rei was exhausted, always. From the day he was born he had never had a moment to himself, dedicating his time to serving others, because without a purpose, what was he? If a demon didn’t make himself useful, he’d surely be banished straight back to hell. Responsibility was his second nature, and even as a child Rei hadn’t been doted on or cared for as he should have been. 

Responsible nature aside, Rei felt he couldn’t be blamed when, after a workday where a single hour stretched onwards for what felt like years—under the beating sun in the groggy humidity that came with the end of summer—he was exhausted. His stomach rumbled, and walking into the kitchen only brought Rei more distress. The communal fridge was empty, bar for a few scattered leftovers. He wasn’t above stealing leftovers, no, in fact Rei had fun snatching food out of styrofoam containers labelled ‘ _KOGA’S FOOD. DO_ _**NOT** EAT. (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, YOU VAMPIRIC HAG)_’ followed by, in a much smaller scrawl: ‘ _3,532 grains of rice. 107 noodles, 3 ribs_ ’. Watching the puppy get sent into a frenzy once he realized a fry (or twenty) were missing was nothing short of prime entertainment.

Rei had no shame. He was fully prepared to dig in, were it not for the fact that every box he opened contained _some_ sort of dairy product. His stomach rumbled again, this time not to remind him of his hunger, but to serve as a testament to how sick Rei would feel if he chose to eat a portion of anything in the fridge. His stomach rumbled once more, hunger pains overtaking him. 

The refrigerator slammed shut with unnecessary force. Rei caught sight of his own pathetic reflection in the stainless steel doors, and, like the flimsy styrofoam container that currently had his thumb stuck halfway through the lid, he snapped.

He can’t remember when he had sunk to the ground, but after minutes of resting his forehead on the chilled porcelain tiles of the kitchen floor, Rei pulled out his phone. He didn’t need to look at the screen to dial the number he needed, the motion of his fingers on the keypad already muscle memory. This meant he didn’t need to get up from the floor, either, which was excellent, because Rei wasn’t in the mood to pretend like he was mature and not completely pathetic.

His phone only rang once before his call was answered. Breathing heavily against the receiver, Rei said nothing, only whined like the dog he wasn’t—UNDEAD already had that position filled. Whining once more, Rei opened his eyes. He couldn’t see anything other than the floor in front of him alongside a few crumbs, but his pleas didn’t sound half as good without his expression: downturned eyebrows combined with tear filled eyes that appeared larger than normal.

“ _Kaorukun_ ,” he began, Kaoru’s name careening into a cry near the end. 

“Kaorukun, Kaorukun, please come home, I’m _hungry_.” Rei pouted, his bottom lip jutting out just so, so the inside of it was now also resting against the kitchen floor.

“I’m hungry, Kaorukun, please?~” Rei heard shuffling on the other end, shortly followed by Kaoru confirming he was on his way home. 

“Please hurry...I miss you.” was mumbled into the receiver. The words lingered in the air around him, hovering silently until they were blown away by the click of Rei hanging up. His only choice now was to wait. 

Frustration boiled in his veins, but the emotion was short lived, diffusing immediately after he slammed his head against the kitchen floor once more. His skull pounded, and even though no one was around, the cry that ripped from the back of his throat was instinctual. 

Despite having spent the past year and a half constantly bringing light to his new pathetic, elderly nature, Rei still wasn’t used to the sound of him whining. His natural croon of a voice pitched an octave higher. Back at school he’d been told it was ear grating, and the thought always stuck with him. The beginning of his third year should have been considered a key point in Rei’s life. Instead it felt more like a sleepy haze, what should have been considered a monumental change in his life documented by nothing other than pinpoints of memories. Rei was left with nothing more than a newfound appreciation for coffins and baseless insecurities following his one-eighty change in personality.

Granted, before his fall, Rei had known better than to put up a fuss over something miniscule. Despite having been raised ascending from one adult’s pedestal to the next, inside his own home he was better off silent. The spoonfed excuses about him being too young to understand _why_ he musn’t protest about participating in this ritual, or how he _has_ to perform better than that cousin his age wore off quickly. The widow grieving her husband of sixty years said he was far too wise, the rare times his parents acknowledged him they said the opposite. 

Better seen not heard, better listen to every instruction, better perform every required task as expected, unless he’d rather prefer….

Nothing.

He didn’t cry over scraped knees, he didn’t run to his mother and ask her to kiss it better. 

Sitting in one of the many far too large bathrooms in their generation old house, Rei would collect what blood he could to present to Ritsu, who was already lacking in development. Shorter than all the other children his age, he napped his mornings, afternoons, and evenings away. Even he knew this wasn’t normal, but at the thought of telling a guardian his worries, he felt a phantom sting in his cheek. Lethargy ran in the family, they said. Never mind their geneology, Rei wanted his brother to experience playtime, to have fun, to be able to run around and, if he got hurt, have someone to cry to. 

The antiseptic stung, but it hurt no more than the fading bruises on Rei’s limbs. The muscles in his face barely twitched. His tear ducts remained dry. There was no point.

Over a decade later, and Rei thinks about how terrifying it must be, to witness a completely perfect child. To know he had never experienced a temper tantrum or a meltdown in his adolescence, when others were feeling so freely.

At nineteen, he was just making up for lost time.

Oftentimes, fits of anger were what followed a child’s unheard pleas. Rei was accustomed to being an outlier, so him completing these steps in the opposite order should be unsurprising.

He can’t remember what made him snap. Whatever the final straw was, years of staring down silently at his intertwined fingers was swiftly replaced with him slamming his foot on the desk of whoever had _dared_ to scold him, his upper lip curled into a snarl, bleeding gums and barely full grown fangs on display.

Hate he internalized was leashed outwards. He could take care of himself, he _had_ been taking care of himself, Ritsu, and countless other strangers for as long as he could remember. The sensation of pressing his pencil so hard onto loose leaf paper the lead broke, lyrics about needing no one and the destiny of a lone wolf practically stabbed into the sheets, small holes scattered all over, clear instances of where the force broke open the paper.

Rei didn’t need anyone. He’s nocturnal, he’s _unstoppable_ , he can breeze through the ever growing pile of aid requests in the student council office without assistance, raised voice and harsh syllables keeping most bystanders away. The warmth that flowed through him whenever Keito stopped by with a new mug of tea placed in front of him was purely coincidental. ‘Course he was gonna feel warm when he’s drinking hot shit. 

The brat also followed him around, hassling Rei every few days into eating a bento that he had prepared. Rei could never remember the last time he had eaten before those clumsily prepared lunches, but that didn’t matter. He was doing fine, the tightness in his chest a physical manifestation of the damn irritation he felt whenever he caught notice of the kid following him, all shiny eyed and still stumbling, walk unused to the extra weight his guitar case added.

He doesn’t need to be babied, he’s too old for that shit. Every time he opens his mouth he shouts, a deterrent that works as well as it can, in a school full of weirdos who don’t understand clear warning signs. Those two pests mean nothing, Rei’s just given up on trying to repel them. 

Falling ruined him, everyone knew this. Losing everything dear to him was awful, the following vat of self esteem issues he had cooked himself in even more so. Compared to the glory that he once withheld, he was pathetic. In the shade he was tired, but in the sun he was almost useless. The same was attributed to night and day, as well as every other facet of Rei’s life. It was hard to take care of himself, but his moans and cries always fell onto deaf ears.

His puppy had lost a mentor, unable to understand that for the time being, Rei _couldn’t_ just get over himself. He couldn’t wake up one day and become Wanchan’s version of normal. He had tried.

His new children were trying their damndest, but Rei could tell they were preoccupied with their own worries, their own survival. Waking up on his own was soul crushing compared to opening his eyes to bright orange or being lulled awake by the melodies of a flute, but he couldn’t force the twins to focus on him.

Rei knew Adonis would drop everything to aid him with whatever he needed, but the boy didn’t deserve the unnecessary responsibility while he was getting resituated. No, Adonis dutifully attending practice was enough. Rei was all too familiar with lost adolescence. He wouldn’t take that from Adonis.

Ritsu, his dear younger brother….

That wound was too raw. Besides, the irony would not have been lost upon him. Begging for comfort and assistance when he had been unable to provide it for Ritsu, after he’d _promised_ niichan would always be there for him...no, Rei didn’t deserve an ounce of Ritsu’s kindness.

Instead, Rei would pull himself out of his coffin, arms shaking as he gripped the walls of the coffin so tight his knuckles turned white, because oh, right, he had forgotten to eat dinner. He ignored the strangely acidic taste of the expired tomato juice he had for breakfast. He cries crocodile tears when Koga calls his pleas for attention annoying, but he doesn’t deny it. Throughout it all, despite the constant wails and ugly ‘oioioi’s that left Rei’s mouth, no one was happy to help. 

His cries were grating, his inability to perform like he used to was embarrassing, the weight of him in his coffin wasn’t worth the effort of dragging around. What little assistance he received was offered to him with reluctance, and on a base level, Rei understood. He understood, but whenever he drifted off in that coffin of his, his mind always fell back on the same underlying wish.

A hand running through his hair, a blanket draped over his shivering body, warm breath on his forehead, followed quickly by a chaste kiss. None of it necessary but still done anyways, in the hopes it would make his sleep more comfortable.

It still worked now. Rei’s lips couldn’t help but curl into a smile, one that was so large he could feel his fangs poke out, a faint press against his lower lip. The chill of the floor had long faded, and with his eyes closed and his body curled into itself, he could almost fall asleep here. Dinner could wait, he’s skipped it an inordinate amount of times and been fine, so it really wasn’t that much of a hassle, and the kitchen suddenly smelled so sweet, jasmine and rose swirling around Rei’s head. Underneath it all was something so familiar, any remaining tension in his body unfurled, truly creating the perfect atmosphere to sleep.

Lips pressed against his forehead, leaving behind the remnants of something sticky when they pulled away. The drowsiness that had possessed Rei evaporated, his eyes shooting open to stare into syrupy brown ones. His eyelids shimmered a royal purple surrounded by the darker greys and blacks needed for a heavy smokey eye, and Rei could still make out the black shade inside of Kaoru’s waterline. Both foundation and concealer were packed heavily onto his face, but no amount of the product could cover the pronounced skin of Kaoru’s under eyes. Looking down, Rei was unsurprised to see Kaoru’s lips covered in a glossy, black sheen. He looked truly delicious, but the warmth in Kaoru’s expression stopped Rei from getting ahead of himself.

“You look nice,” was blurted out lamely before Rei could think of something better to say, eyes and body still frozen, locked onto Kaoru’s surprise appearance.

Kaoru chuckled, his own irises managing to sparkle more than the glitter on his cheekbones. “I’m glad you think so, Reikun, because the cashier looked at me like I’d grown a second head,” he sighs, shaking his head while Rei laughs incredulously. 

“I’m serious! I knew I should have gone through self checkout…” Kaoru trailed off, but he was huffing out a laugh too, head once again shaking disappointedly at his customer service experience.

“Is that why it took you so long?” The modelling studio Kaoru was scheduled to shoot in was close by, meaning he had gone out of his way to get to the store.

“Mmhm, I got tripped up trying to find the right brands too, but in the end I found what I needed.” Kaoru had risen from his crouch above the ground, standing at his full height as he pulled the groceries out of the bag. 

Getting ready to push himself off of the ground, Rei braces his hands on either side of him, lifting up so he’s sitting against the kitchen island.

Before he knows it, Kaoru’s hand is in front of his face, offering to pull Rei up. He takes the offer, and feels himself being pulled upwards into Kaoru’s broad chest.

Being this close to Kaoru was addicting, their faces mere centimeters apart. Now Rei could see every wrinkle and crease in Kaoru’s makeup, some parts of his face less covered than others due to sweat.

“Long day?” Kaoru hummed an affirmative, resting his forehead against Rei’s. 

“A _long_ one,” Kaoru drew the word out, the syllables pulling his midnight colored lips apart beautifully, strands of lip gloss fighting a losing battle to keep his lips pressed together. “If you think all those lights are hot normally, just wait until you’re in at least four layers per outfit. The fashion’s fun, I’d do it again, and I’m totally going to shove it in Senacchi’s face that my issue will sell out faster than his, but it was _tiring_.” 

Rei’s eyes flickered to the unpacked groceries, a tightness in his chest present that wasn’t there a minute ago. 

“Ah, I see...then you don’t have to—”

“Hm? What? Oh, no, I’m definitely still cooking.” Rei felt his own mouth thin, the pressure in his chest now a dull throb. Before he could even protest, Kaoru was cutting him off again.

“Don’t give me that face, Reikun, we both know you’re gonna burn the kitchen down if you try to cook for yourself.”

The pain shifted lower, shame curling in Rei’s stomach. He looked away, knew better than to make eye contact when he was being critiqued, he wasn’t worthy of it anyways.

“Hey,” Kaoru began again, his hand reaching up to cup Rei’s upper cheek, his thumb swiping back and forth under Rei’s eyes. His nails were painted, too. Matte black paired with a glittery aubergine. They were nice, nice like the touch, nice like Kaoru’s comforting tone. When Rei’s eyes rose to meet Kaoru’s again, he found Kaoru’s expression to be surprisingly stern, a contrast to how soft his voice was.

“Don’t feel bad about it either, we all have our own skill sets, ‘kay? If writing out all those notes for our songs involved fire, you’d bet I’d be burning a disgusting amount of paper.” Kaoru smiled now, the wrinkles around his eyes when he normally did so lost in the grayscale shadow covering his outer eyelid.

“Besides, you know I love cooking for you, Reikun, and I want to reward you for remembering to eat instead of going straight to bed. You look dead on your feet.”

“So do you.” It was childish, but Rei didn’t know what else to say. Kaoru knew him so well, all he needed to see was a slight shift in expression and he somehow knew what was wrong and the exact right thing to say to fix it. 

“Yeah, but I know you worked in the sun today, so why don’t you sit down while I cook?” 

Rather than sit on a stool at the granite island like he knew Kaoru had meant, Rei pulled himself up onto the kitchen counter. His legs dangled above the floor, Rei kicked them outwards as Kaoru turned the bottom leftmost stovetop burner on. He moved around Rei’s legs to get to the sink, filling a large pot with water. Rei paused his kicking as Kaoru passed him by again, putting the pot on the burner and placing a lid on top.

“Now we wait for it to boil.” Kaoru smiled, looking up at Rei who was _finally_ substantially taller than his boyfriend while nearing the ledge of the counter. 

“What are you making?” Rei eyed the grocery bags once more, curious as Kaoru bent down to pull out a cutting board and knife.

“Well,” Kaoru started his explanation, tongue sticking between the gap in his teeth the way it did when he was particularly pleased. “I know how you get when you’re reminded of somethin’ you can’t have, baby, so~” He paused once again, pulling some packages out of the grocery bag with bravado. “I bought you the lactose free cheese! The kind you can have! And I got some noodles, and some tomato sauce, and I’m gonna throw it all together to make tomato mac’n’cheese!” He beamed, his smile taking up the entirety of his face.

Rei’s mouth was half open, but he couldn’t bring himself to close it.

“Kaorukun… _Kaorukun_.” It seemed to be the only thing he could say, repeating Kaoru’s name over and over like some kind of parrot. 

“Hm? What’s wrong? Are you in the mood for something else? Because I bought oth—” As soon as Kaoru’s face was in grabbing reach, Rei pulled him into a kiss. The extra height took some time to maneuver, and the lip gloss made it sticky, but it was everything Rei needed. Pulling away left Kaoru with a dopey smile and a smudge of black across his forehead that was surely a twin to Rei’s own kiss mark. 

“Kaorukun,” Rei brought their foreheads together again. His neck was unused to leaning down to reach Kaoru, and he’d surely develop an uncomfortable crick there in the morning, but he found that at the moment he didn’t really care. 

“What would an old man like me do without you?”

“Hey,” Kaoru laughed. “If you’re old then I’m old. You’re more like a baby to me.”

“Should I take offense to that?” Rei pouted again, although the expression was instantly wiped away when Kaoru kissed him again.

“No, don’t! I think it’s cute, really, my little Reichan~”

Rei pulled away in a dash, hands already speeding to hide his face, which was reddening at an exponential rate. 

“Oh, Reikun, don’t hide that cute face of yours,” Kaoru pleaded, Rei once again grateful for the hands covering his face. Kaoru had killer puppy dog eyes, Rei would lose in an instant if he saw them. “I mean it, baby, you’re really cute! C’mon~” Rei could feel the gloss getting stuck to the back of his hands as Kaoru kissed them, his heart pounded so hard in his chest he felt it could leap out of his throat.

“Not fair! Kaorukun’s cheating.” Rei whined every single word, removing his hands, instead bending down further to hide his expression in the crook of Kaoru’s neck. 

“Ah, Reikun, don’t be like that, it’s not _my_ fault you’re so kissa–oh _shoot_!” In less than a second Kaoru’s body was gone, Rei leaning on air. Turning to see where Kaoru had run to, he saw his boyfriend pour the noodles into the pot at the perfect time, right before the water had been about to overboil. He resolved himself to watching Kaoru work at that, keeping the distractions at a minimum, but even with the distance between them Rei felt overwhelmed. 

His entire body tingled, his heart fluttered whenever Kaoru spared him a smile while working, and before he knew it Rei was smiling too, even when Kaoru’s eyes weren’t on him.

A nice meal in, and then they’d go straight to bed, to sleep this long day away. Kaoru could have skipped the first part, and Rei would have understood, wouldn’t have uttered a single complaint, but…he was glad he didn’t, his childhood wish finally fulfilled.

**Author's Note:**

> wahh.. i hope you enjoyed >.<
> 
> title taken from razzmatazz by idkhow and you can follow me [here](https://twitter.com/reikaocore)!


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